What's the dill, pickle?

Today at work we had a mandatory staff meeting.  The meeting was to introduce this "communications expert" who would be conducting 2 seminars/classes/meetings/whatev on how to effectively communicate, both of which are mandatory.

In our lil meet and greet we went around the room and introduced ourselves one by one.  I really detest doing the round table sort of thing, it makes me squirm by the way.  I'm all for putting my two cents in.  I love giving my unsolicited opinion in an open discussion setting where I know most or all the people present.  However, to be put on the spot and know that your turn is coming, it's unnerving to me.  I get performance anxiety--hoping I don't stutter or mishmash my words all around.
Once we'd all been introduced the lady began her schpeal.  She informed us that in the next two sessions we'd be learning how to "listen with our hearts".  Ok, am I the only person who just threw up a lil?  Out of all the people I work with there are only a handful I genuinely like let alone trust, and you want my heart to be where my ears can barely tolerate?

But, ok...I'll bite...what's the hook?  Homework.  We have each been given a copy of a book to read.  The title?  Well, I'm glad you asked!  The Power of Kindness:  The unexpected benefits of leading a compassionate life
REALLY??

CUT!  Ok, here's where I have to interject with my opinions and thoughts.  There are about 3 maybe 5 (so figure actually 4) people aside from myself....of course... hehe at my job who could actually be accused of being kind.  I have NEVER in my life come across such a grossly isolated population of assholes in my life...ever!!  And believe me, I know a few assholes...I'm even related to some. 
So how can you expect to effectively alter the flow of energy in an office by teaching "listening with your heart" when most of these people are heartless?
I'd settle for listening with your ears followed by a healthy dose of mind your own business...but that's just me.

AND ACTION! So, I'll be interested to see where this workshop winds up.  Already the one person in the office most void of heart has asked if this is something he can read while at work.  He furthered to clarify that he doesn't work from home ever, and to him this is work and so consequently he would be most willingly do it while on the premises.  I thought my head boss lady was going to choke at the idea of paying someone to read a book on kindness. Ok, granted I'm sure at least half of the staff felt like they should get paid for reading a book (to clarify: this is not a short story, not a pamphlet, not a "Lil Golden Book"--no no, it's a full on book:  19 Chapters, 274 pages in all) they didn't choose to read for something they are required to participate in.  But how does someone tactfully say to their boss:  This book; the one here on kindness... yea, it's not something I'm interested in.  I wouldn't typically care anything about the topic, nor would I read it for fun/enjoyment.  So, since you are forcing me to read a book on kindness, can I do it while at work and on the clock?  And to me the best part of this interaction aside from the obvious discomfort on the head boss lady's face, was the answer she gave: Weelll, I'd raaather you nooot...buut, if you can manaaage to get allll your work dooone and not read in front of clients, I guuuueess.  Picture your mom telling you yes, but she really means no.  It was a Kodak moment for sure! (yes, I am old enough to remember a Kodak moment, but if you so happen to be young or dumb enough to point that out, then you're on your own. ;)  )
Although, in this stubborn, heartless, asshole's defense--were this book be about anything else save for kindness, he would've had (and truly still does have) a valid point. 

We reconvene on May 3rd.  I can't wait to share stories of our "trios of listeners, talkers, and observers".  Gag!
~M

 P.S. BTW, this is me being positive about this workshop.
uuuh huh!  I'm positive this concept is out of this population's reach!