I have started to write about several topics tonight...friends, family, values, etc...
I'll write a few sentences or even a couple paragraphs and realize that it has taken a complete left turn somewhere and ended up completely off point and not at all what I want to say.
My thoughts are scattered fragments. My mind is diligently putting pieces together. Trying to fit them together like a puzzle, hoping to make some sense of it all. Oh sure, I know what I would like to say and that in a different place I would probably just puke it all out. But how does one censor feelings? Emotions that are very real and valid. I find that often it is easier to express my feelings to someone else rather than the person I am feeling them towards. Makes for conversation but rarely closure.
I chose to express my feelings yesterday. I did so in a kind and loving way. I wasn't trying to be hurtful. I tried very hard to make sure what I was saying wasn't blaming or harsh. I followed up with all the wonderful things I love about this person. I wrote a letter to make sure I didn't get sidetracked and end up arguing. And now I regret it. I don't regret what I said nor how I said it. Rather, I regret that I didn't do it sooner. I bit my tongue for a very long time and let it all out at once instead. There isn't any amount of gentleness and love that can soften the blow of the truth. So, since it's hard to hear the truth even when said tactfully, it's best not to save it all up for a rainy day.
Oh well, here's to hoping that everything will turn out for the best. I had to do what was right for me.
On another note, me and Jason have been diligently working out with our new regimen and I am now up to 45 minutes on the elliptical. Yay! :) I think I can tell a slight difference in my jeans, but that could also be wishful thinking. I will weigh myself on Friday and let you know if there was a loss or not. Jason has been doing the P90X....yuck! To which I say, better him than me!!! :) I have a bathing suit in mind which I plan to look model-esque (ha ha, right) in! **Fingers crossed** See the swimsuit
What do you think? Cute right? :)
~M
Wow, that's hot, Mags! I'm so jealous. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about not saving up the truth for a rainy day.
ReplyDeleteI am not the type to want to hold it in.
However, lately, I feel like a nag. Nag doesn't really fit, because I think of a nag as someone who gripes about superfluous, unnecessary matters. I feel like I have real concerns, but they are coming up all too often. The same ol' song and dance. I'm not really sure how to fix it. If you figure it out, let me know. I hate conflict, but seems like it likes to find me.
Good luck with your elliptical. Exercise is supposed to be a healthy outlet for frustration ;)
I miss hearing from you missingsusanna! I hope you didn't get bored of my blah blah blah! You always have such great feedback!
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