Collective thoughts...

Having not posted since, yea, sorry, too lazy to go back and look, you're on your own with this one well, since my last post, I have quite a bit o' info to go through.  And since it's already past my bedtime I shall try to do my best to not only have this all make sense but to touch on all bases in my brain I think I just inadvertently shorted myself in the smarts department.  Note to self, don't blog past the bedtime, it makes you look dumb.

I have decided it is now time to fly the coup.  Following the expiration of my joint lease with my mom, I shall be moving into a place without my parental unit.  Have I mentioned that I hate apartment hunting? So on Saturday me and Jason went shopping for an apartment.  I was having an allergic reaction complete with swollen eye socket, itchy red eyes, sneezing, runny nose...well, you get the picture.  Did I mention my eye socket was swollen?  Literally the inside part of my eye was swelling so you could then see it on the outside of said eye.  I was freaking out.  Jason was sitting politely at the desk of some leasing agent while I went to the bathroom to investigate the extent of my allergic reaction.  After washing my face and taking a Claritin, I went and interrupted him as he was acting interested in said complex.  All I could think about was the possibility that I would have a huge eye socket and/or temporary blindness.  Me: in complete freak out mode.  Jason:  cool, calm and collected, asking the leasing agent about the property.  Me:  realizing that this could only be the result of an allergy to apartment hunting, I now needed to vacate the premises immediately.
This apartment complex which seemed oh so PERFECT in its website was truly a GHETTO in hind sight. Though we did manage to find two places that were more to our liking that day, so we shall see.  Sadly I realize that not only do I hate apartment hunting, but I am now convinced I'm also allergic to it as well. :)

I hate the rumor mill; I also love the rumor mill.  I guess what I really like is being informed.  I am not a fan of having no clue what is going on around me, unless it is something that will stress me out and then I'd rather not know.  So long as I know the important things and/or that which is pertaining to me, I am happy and blissfully ignorant to the day to day drama of others.  That being said: I hate the rumor mill, especially when my name is being thrown around in it.   
Today I spoke to a girl who has given her resignation notice at work.  She decided to inform me of things that I'd rather have been blissfully ignorant of about myself.  Not that they were opinions about me, no no, that would've been easier to shrug off.  After all, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  Instead she told me things that she "knew" about me as they were told to her by another.  The person who told her these things is a girl I use the term girl VERY loosely, this female is anything but a girl.  In fact, you could mistake her for a Linebacker.  She is NOT lady like, and she is certainly NOT one of the FEW kind people I work with.  I find that she is manipulative, vicious, and evil.   Quite frankly if she got hit by a bus tomorrow I would not mourn the loss of her presence upon the earth.  I might even go as far as to say to the world: Happy Cinco de Mayo World! Yes, I realize that I am not being kind here either, but she has been a <forget the thorn, she's more like tire spikes the police throw down> in the flesh since I've met her. Sorry, but I just cannot always be nice. that I do not get along with.  I made the mistake of being nice to her when I first started at my job and we became friends.  Shortly after I became friends with her, I realized the error in my judgment.  Too late, as I now have a bulls eye on my forehead.  She loves to target me with trash talking and truly any way she can put me down or make me feel incompetent she does and will.  I also realized a few months ago that when I stopped confiding in Ms. Diva Gotti that everything between me and Ms. Linebacker started to calm down.  What I didn't realize until today that there are things I told said Ms. Diva Gotti about my personal life that she relayed back to Ms. Linebacker.  Ms. Diva Gotti led me to believe that she despised Ms. Linebacker.  It never even occurred to me that she would have a need to divulge things I'd told her in confidence--ESPECIALLY about my personal life.  But when I heard it all chewed up and puked back out to me today, it had been twisted into a whole new life form.  It vaguely resembled the truth, but juuuust barely.  It was more like a based on a true story movie where they take "liberties" with the details.  It is taking everything in my power to not go ballistic on Ms. Diva Gotti.  I think that it helps that I'm pretty sure saying something to her will not only NOT do any good, but she is seriously one scary gangsta female.  She has a way of being oh so sweet and charming when she needs/wants something, but pee yourself scary when she hates you.  This is yet another reason why most employers now do criminal background checks and rule out people with violent crimes in their pasts!  Let this be a lesson boys and girls:  Do not play with the felons on the playground!  When someone gets hurt, it will most likely be a life threatening injury rather than a boo boo.  Just a helpful tip, from me to you! 

Yesterday was our "listen with your hearts" mumbo jumbo meeting.  I cannot tell you how fun it was.  *dripping with sarcasm*  The leader lady made us put our feet flat on the floor, close our eyes, and invoke thoughts of calmness, blah blah blah...to be honest she lost me the moment she said for me to put my feet floor, I tend to wanna be curled up with my feet in the chair.  But when she said invoke, all I could do was think: are we doing a seance? My saving grace was two-fold.  I not only got paired up with the one person I truly LOVE at my job but we also were short a third person in our group.  *You win!*  She even helped me clear up a few doubts I had bouncing around in my head about my upcoming move.   I'm fairly certain we didn't do the exercise properly, however, I feel like I still got something out of the hour and a half because of her wisdom.   When it was time to do a third rotation, I had the genius idea that we should observe others since we'd both shared and listened but hadn't had the "opportunity" to observe...truly I just didn't feel like faking the funk of participation any longer and I was pretty sure we were both on the same page in that...however, I didn't predict that the leader lady would split us up and have us both watch different single group.  I thought we'd just kinda be looking around the room at all the groups.  *my bad*

My new group's "sharer" went on and on for 7 minutes about his love of prayers, meditation, burning sage, fishing, hunting, kickboxing the stars around in the galaxy, the afterlife, hugging the trees in the redwood forest, blah blah blah...see also he's full of ka ka poo poo. And my favorite part?  After the entire thing was done and the lady leader asked for feedback our groups' little Rainbow Bright (aka Blue #2 from the fire drill) piped up to say:  "Well, I tend to get bored easily.  So for me, the challenge was to listen and not let my mind wander when my sharer was sharing.  I tend to lose track after a few seconds and go off in my own little train of thought"....REALLY?  Because for someone who is SO interesting that you bore quickly of others, you sure made me want to slit my wrists after 7 minutes of listening to you ramble on.  I mean come on man!  *rolling my eyes*  The light at the end of this long dark tunnel?  Our last meeting will be on May 17th.  *yippee kai yay!* 

~M

P.S.  Went to see Something Borrowed last night with my girl Kristin--LOVED IT!!  Such a cute movie! :)