Eye of the...Pitt Bull?...ahem

Females:  scandalous, manipulative creatures.  Beautiful to look at? Yes.  Nurturing?  Absolutely.  Willing to sink their teeth into your throat to protect what is theirs? Without a doubt, YES!
I am aware there are ladies out there who conduct themselves as such.  But even the classiest of ladies will turn into a tiger when pushed to their limit; after all, they don't call it a cat fight for no reason.
I have that killer instinct inside my Self; a primal urge to rip the jowls off a person for stepping on my terrain.  Sometimes I hate when it rears its ugly head, but recently I've come to appreciate the beast within--and here's why:

Not long ago, I had the misfortune to realize an affair was happening within my office.  A married man and an (IMHO) unstable female began lying to everyone in the office in order to sneak off together for an hour or so here and there.  This man was someone I respected; I thought him to be a family man.  This unstable female was someone I didn't understand, yet liked.


The other day I had an experience where someone did something to me that was seemingly harmless yet extremely offensive.  I feel there is a line which should not be crossed in relationships.  It is my opinion that when two people of the opposite sex are both in relationships with other people, out of mutual respect for all parties involved, it is best to abstain from any activity that could be wrongly perceived; e.g, going out alone together without their partners.  To me, it's not a matter of trust but of respect.  Jason trusts me, but out of respect for him, I choose to refrain from behavior that could be misinterpreted.  So, when this experience happened to me, I was over the top upset with her about it.  When talking to Jason about how I felt about this female, he tried to be the devil's advocate and show me a differenct perspective.  I tried to see his side; yet no matter which angle I saw if from, I could still find the fault.  Here is why:

This man and woman, Optimus Prime and Ms. Firedrill from the fire drill, were friends.  Eventually, they began texting; which led to private conversations; which led to time spent alone; which led to where they are today.  Something that starts out innocently can very easily become something else given the right (or wrong, depending on how you word it) situation presents itself.  It is unsettling to watch something like this play out in front of your eyes.  But it is devastating to experience the very same thing happening to you. 

For me it was a reminder that love is a gift not a right; it is to be savored and cherished.  In doing so we must remember that like a tiger cub, love must be cared for.  It must be nurtured, fed, and protected.  
And like a mama tiger, I am ready (and willing) to pounce on anything/anyone which I perceive as a threat to survival and/or those I love.  Jason says I'm actually more like a Pitt Bull...eh, potato/potato.


I have come to the realization:  we are all humanimals (see also Magnetisms) with survival instincts.  Our fight or flight mechanism is genetically predisposed.  
While I do not have the instincts to go for Ms. Firedrill's throat, I cannot help but be disgusted by them both. 

I thank God for sending me the very best friend I've ever had.  Yes, we've had our share of struggles.  But we are a work in progress.  Each day we are given together, I cherish my relationship with Jason more; I will protect it; I will make neither excuses nor apologies for doing so.


I love my girlfriends; I have a few that I can trust and for them I am grateful.  Without asking, I know that each of them feel the exact same way that I do about this very same subject.  It is because we share the same protective boundaries that we have maintained our friendship throughout the years.  Through thick and thin, no matter the argument, we've come through it all.  They are females, they are vicious, they are beautiful, and I love them.


So, to my besties:  thank you for all that you've done for me.  You are the reasons I do not instantly hate all women.
~M
P.S.  Of course, the women in my family helped too! ;)

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do...

I am currently fighting back the urge to bawl my eyes out, I'm shaking--I'm so mad.

Have you ever had someone intentionally get under your skin...repeatedly?  I have.  I am not sure why some people feel the need to feed off of a person's weaknesses.  I have certain things in my life to which I simply cannot ignore.  Call it being sensitive, call it insecurities, call it whatever you like, I don't care.  I admit that I have some downfalls.  I admit, I am flawed:  human even.  (*gasp* scary I know, huh?!)

I have been told by more than one person in my lifetime that I do not make a great first impression--that I am somewhat of an acquired taste--but that to know me is to love me.  I have made great strides in my willingness to overcome this.  I try very hard to watch what I say around people who do not know me.   I consciously watch my sense of humor around new friends/acquaintances...trying to ease them into my personality rather than dive them head first into my Magnetisms. (just came up with that btw, he he)  However, occasionally I come across people who--no matter how hard I try to like them, chemistry, personality differences, their obvious lack of sense of humor, whatever the case may be--I just cannot seem to like.   It never fails that these particular people ALWAYS manage to be of some importance in my life.  A boss, coworker, friend of a best friend, etc, etc.  Yet, no matter how many times I count to 10 or check myself, they continue to find the ONE nerve that is theirs.  I could name each of these individuals in my life, there are so few of them, yet they all have their very own niche in my skin they love to crawl under.  Not one of them hit on the same nerve, no no...they have their own thing they do that is unique to them, which I cannot, no matter how hard I try, manage to tolerate.  Some of these people have come and gone from my life, others remain.  Yet, no matter the person or situation, one thing remains the same:  they go into hibernation for a while and then out of no where they jump back on my nerve.

Today, I had not one, but two of these people jump on my nerves.   They did their lil dance and then smiled, as if to say: prove it.   Welp, you got me!  Yep, I'm mad.  Nope, can't prove it.   Sure sure, it's all just one big misunderstanding.  It's just my perception, the way I am choosing to take it.

To quote the movie The Fighter:

Mom to girlfriend:  "I've heard a lot about you."
Girlfriend to mom:  "Well I've heard a lot about you too."
Mom to girlfriend:  "What's that supposed to mean?"
Girlfriend to mom:  "The same thing you meant." :)

I've got the man upstairs looking out for me--and no man can pluck me out of my Father's hand--he's got his eye on you, ya big bunch of bullies! Thbbbt! :)
~M